FILMS AND BOOKS
yes man
The film is about the protagonist Carl's earth shaking transformation. He refused to associate with others. "No!" It's Carl's mantra. He always finds all kinds of reasons and excuses to avoid all invitations. This seems to be the true portrayal of many people today: they would rather be at home than go out to socialize. Maybe sometimes it's because some things can't keep the appointment, and sometimes it's just psychological resistance.
On the whole, what I see in this movie are these aspects:
Awakening - he really felt that he should change his ways.
Change - he gave up his old gray life, self motivation and self challenge.
Sincerity is soul - he believed Terence's saying, although we don't know what kind of "cult" the "good sir" is in the end.
Live your own life - Carl used to live his own life, his inner world was single, but later his negotiation area became wider, the originally frustrated love also went to the door.
The harder you work, the luckier you are - that's exactly what Carl said. His transformation is a kind of inspiration and encouragement to us.
Now a large part of people in the society are in a negative self closed state, do not like social contact, refuse to communicate with others, like to escape when things happen, but in fact, they have a little desire to change. It takes an opportunity for a person to be determined to make a change. What makes Carl determined to change is that Carl didn't attend the engagement party of his good friend Pete and his girlfriend, which made Pete very angry. They had a quarrel, which made Carl realize that he might lose his good friend. In the evening, Carl had a dream that he died suddenly at home. When his friends came to collect the corpse, they were calm and did not look sad. As Wang Fei sang in the moon at that time, some people have no such consciousness in their whole life, while some people will suddenly realize it in the moment of life and death. Carlton realized that although he only felt the breath of death in his dream, he was determined to change himself. Many people need an opportunity to break through themselves, which may also be a kind of intimacy, to put down the self-protection mechanism.
The Crowd
The Crowd, the author of the mob, is a famous French social psychologist and the founder of social psychology.
The core content of this book is divided into the following aspects. First of all, it is about the definition of "group", what is a group, and what attributes a group of people have to be called a group. Secondly, once a group is formed, what characteristics will such a group have. Then, there are the generation and change in the group. Finally, it is about the analysis and research of leaders in the group.
"Some of the psychological characteristics of a group may be the same as those of an individual who is alone, while others are completely opposite and unique to the group, which can only be seen in the group." I began to understand that my part of reason may only be able to play to the extreme when I was alone, and it may become different when I was in the group, in other words, maybe most of the time I showed others another dimension of myself. We will unconsciously adjust our thoughts and behaviors according to the current environment in the group, and some of them are stupid elements that we don't realize. I feel helpless about this phenomenon. I can't think of any way to stop this accumulation of stupid behavior. I can only try my best to keep calm and show others my rational side. So most of the time, I choose to remain silent, even unconsciously cater to the ideas of most people. In this process, I have been influenced by the group and become a member of the mob.
social psychology
First of all, I want to talk about my understanding of it. The object of social work is people, which is the interaction between people and environment. No matter when and where, people's psychology and behavior always receive the influence of other people's existence, groups and the whole society. Reading this book help me better understand myyself, also can improve our consciousness of behavior, enhance our ability to adapt to society, and help us to observe and understand people with new methods, so as to understand more accurately the meaning of people's behavior, the relationship between people and the world around them.
In this book, the word "social personality" also appears. In psychology, personality is also called personality, but there is still no exact definition. According to Allport, personality is a dynamic organization of psychophysical system in the body, which determines the uniqueness of a person's thought and behavior. Chen Zhonggeng, a famous personality psychologist in China, defines personality as "the tendency of behavior in the body, the whole and synthesis in constant change, the persistent self with dynamic consistency and continuity, and the characteristic physical and mental organization formed in the process of socialization". These concepts are really big to read, but vaguely, we really feel some characteristics of personality. For example, plasticity, autonomy and passivity, as well as some relative independence. Seeing this, I think of a lot of things I'm doing now that seem to be related to these features. "At the beginning of man, nature is good. Close sex, far learning. If you don't teach, your nature will change. Are not these classical works related to the plasticity, passivity and independence of personality? The purpose of reading and learning knowledge is to make oneself different, to break man's nature and to shape his sociality. Similarly, people are different, such as face Yan, no two people with the same appearance, no two people with the same personality. The self we are talking about now is probably the personality in the book. To stick to one's personality is the most real self.
Why do we always care so much about the evaluation of others, and such people tend to have strong self-esteem. If people's self-esteem system depends on external sources, they are more likely to bear pressure and negative emotions than those who depend on internal sources (such as personal value). If we focus less on self-image maintenance, and develop more skills and relationships with others, people can have a better life.
Happy list of Harvard girls
The protagonist's life becomes more closed after college. He makes himself stay at home and read all kinds of books. It seems that there is no circle of friends. Why does it become so closed? Why do you make yourself so unhappy?
Kelly followed the psychiatrist's advice and completed the suggested options one after another. The core of these options is to break their own boundaries, which are due to their unwillingness to face problems, fear of conflicts, and finally avoid them. It seems that many people in modern society are in such a situation, especially distrust of human nature, or simply to people Sexual disappointment, finally, has been reluctant to close contact with people, resulting in a sense of social distance, no sense of security.
What is "security"? Some say they are not afraid of loneliness, some say they are not afraid of losing, some say they are not afraid of being criticized. My favorite answer is "not afraid of being hurt".
I think it's a very difficult process. It may even take a lifetime to cultivate. But it also means that when you start to want to pursue happiness and build deep interpersonal relationships, you have to bear the possible harm. Just like when implementing this happiness list, Kelly realized the promise that the goldfish Katharine (yes, this is the name Kay helped her) accompanied her through What a happy time, but also bear the pain that Catherine will one day leave her. This is the way things are in the world. There is no free lunch. You are excellent because you put in more efforts. You are professional because you repeat more training. You are strong because you sweat more and give up more temptations. Even psychotherapy is the same.
Alone Together
"Alone Together" is a book written by Sherry Turkle, a sociology professor at MIT, in 2011 to reflect on the contemporary era of robotics and network survival. In the book, Sherry Turkle asks the question: why do we expect more from technology and less from each other? Advanced technology has reduced the threshold of human communication to the lowest level, and the interaction between people should be more frequent and in-depth, but why the final result is beyond our expectation: each of us is becoming more lonely.
Because of the development of communication, especially the development of smart phones, people began to rely on social tools, which replaced people's face-to-face communication. People prefer to hide behind the screen, just like being locked in a narrow space and unwilling to enter the reality. Social networking is essentially a kind of self-centered and thin social, once addicted to this, it will alienate the real social, resulting in new loneliness.
We even use mobile phones instead of close people. So this seriously leads to the weakening of people's interaction ability and intimacy ability. This is a vicious circle. Mobile phones have already become a part of our bodies, entangled with each other, hard to give up. This is also the feeling of being entangled and bound as I have shown in my works.
When we start to be afraid of face-to-face communication, even when we don't want to make phone calls, we can see the author's concern: we are becoming more and more individual, and inevitably more and more lonely. After all, the connotation of "media is information" is that we invented new media, but in the end, only new media controlled us
